Like most of us, I was completely riveted by what happened on Wednesday, watching history unfold, and feeling that sad, sickening, surreal feeling that something very bad was happening. When anything happens that upends our reality, it’s easy to get pulled in and pulled under by it. It’s important to know when you need to breathe, walk away, or rest so that you aren’t overwhelmed. Self care becomes survival.
It was an exhausting day and I agreed with the sentiments of many in the writing community that there was no way they could get any writing done. The thought of doing something so normal seemed also surreal and how on earth would anyone be able to focus enough to do anything? I watched the live coverage as Congress resumed. Many hours later, after a takeout dinner and some phone calls, I was sitting at my desk, looking at the news and social media again. I still thought that today was a day where it was impossible to write. I sighed and felt completely spent but I opened the current scene in the novel I’m writing anyway. I went to the end of the file and glanced at what the scene was before. I waited for a moment without any pressure or judgment. If nothing else, I would have tried and that would be enough for me – it was more than I had planned on being able to do that evening. I put the day out of my mind, I set it aside knowing full well I would pick it back up again when I was done. In the quiet of my mind, the words slowly emerged and the characters had their say, for just over a page and then I stopped because it was ridiculously late and I was (and still am) quite tired. It was a relief, having that touchstone of normality, being reminded of what I needed to do, and remembering what I can actually control.
Sometimes even when you think you can’t do something, you find that you can or maybe even that it is needed. Realizing what is in your control can allow you the clarity needed to move forward. And if you’re just not okay, that’s okay too. However you’re doing, hang in there, and please take care.
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