This week, I've been thinking a lot about habits. We all have them. Some are good, some are bad, and some are best left alone. Many habits are unconscious meaning we may not remember when they started or how they got set. When we make a conscious decision to try to set new habits, it's often discouragingly difficult. Even when the habit is something that you really want that could be fun or help your life overall like, writing more, eating healthier, or learning French, it can be hard to transition to habits.
The brain is a funny thing. It loves habits, set the neural pathways and hit repeat, conserve that energy to use on something else. It also loves novelty, the new, the interesting, the shiny. So a shiny new habit should immediately attract your brain, but somehow it just won't stick. The brain converts novelty into habit through practice. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. The activity needs to transition from something you need to remember to something you rarely forget because you almost don't need to think about it. There is no magic way around the work of setting a habit. You can't just reboot yourself with brand new habits that you want, or upload new specifications to your brain. You have to set the specs yourself
There are some key things to remember when trying to set a new habit and the first is one thing at a time. If you decide that you are suddenly going to learn physics, practice tai kwan do, and meditate every day for 30 minutes, you will find yourself quickly disappointed. One thing at a time. Pick where you want to start. The next component of one thing at a time is to start small. If you're trying to exercise and you suddenly work out for an hour, your muscles and your brain will revolt. Your brain will take stock of how sore you are and actively discourage any behavior that results in pain. It will be easy to avoid working out or any new activity if you only associate it with negativity. If you start exercising 5 or 10 minutes a day for a week, and then slowly increase the amount of time, you are building on progress and creating a positive feedback loop. You are also allowing your system and your schedule to adjust to this new thing. Starting anything is the hardest part. Once you've started, as long as you keep going, the momentum will help carry you when you think you can't do it. You'll realize that you've meditated for 3 days in a row, so 4 is just the next step. From 4 days, it's actually not that long to forming the basis of a habit.
Well, not that long relative to your lifetime. You may have heard that it takes 30 days to set a habit. Though this would be lovely for tracking purposes, and has a nice symmetry to it, I am sad to say that it is not true. You are a good chunk of the way there, but current research suggests that there may not be a magic number but if there is, it could be about 67 days or more, depending on the habit you are trying to acquire. Relative to your life, not a long time. Relative to how you feel on day 5 of painting, maybe a very shockingly long time. Maybe enough that you want to stop whatever you are doing, because it bums you out to think that you have to do it every day. Well, you don't have to do it every day. You only have to do it today, the last component of one thing at a time. A cheap trick, I know, but an effective one. You don't need to think about all of the days that come after, you only need to think about today and taking the small step on your single goal. It may feel tiny. It may feel like you are doing nothing, but you are setting the foundation for major change and significant achievement.
Short Version
To set a new habit • Focus on one thing at a time
• Start small
• Keep going and the momentum can help carry you
• One day at a time. You only have to do it today.
• It may not feel like much, but you are building a foundation for major change.
Commenti